I finished circuiting the new electrical in the master bedroom. I installed some new fixtures, re-circuited some of the old stuff, and an added an entirely new circuit for the outdoor lighting.
What a very long project that turned out to be for me. I knew when we redesigned the master that the new lighting would be a challenge, but I never imagined how complicated the actual design and installation would become. Avenues of routing I thought were open to me, proved impossible to follow, and time and time again, I had to change plans, reroute and reposition. The house was built, shall we say, off the cuff. The builders and subsequent re-modelers utilized a lot of that good old fashioned Alaska "git er done" spirit. I have probably officially joined that faction out of sheer desperation. I didn't compromise code or standard, but I had to compromise my vision.
The problems I have faced in my electrical work mirror the general struggles I have faced in my life in the past two years since my father died. I have had to face truth, lots of it, and if I thought re-circuiting "the house that Jack built" was a challenge, it was a cake walk compared to re-circuiting the "brain that Jeanette circuited." I have learned on a very deep level what is the meaning of compromise, humility, and acceptance. The lesson was not easy to absorb. I thought myself to be the self made gal, but these years have taught me how to accept help, to reach out to others, to trust and to allow myself to admit mistakes.
Though tired and nearly spent from physical and mental labors, I could not be happier with the results - both with house and head. For the first time in a very long time, I am enjoying the process of living. Yes, I still fear the shadows in the far corners of my home and my mind, but I can handle it... that is as long as I let someone hold the light for me while I work. Life is good.
